Carrying Your Love to the Grave
by Musicrocksssss
Summary: "My wife is dead, my son is missing and probably traumatized and hurt or dead, and the guy I want to be with is cold-hearted and 'doesn't do love'. I get it. So stop playing with my feelings." Carl is kidnapped by the claimers, Beth is still alive, Rick is broken and Daryl has a kid? -warnings inside-


**A/N: This is my Rickyl sorry! I also have another version of this story that is Daryl/OFC so if you want me to post that one too, let me know.**

 **Warnings: implied Rape, Rape aftermath, mentions of rape and effects of rape, Slash story, M/M**

 **so this takes place in the episode "A". Instead of the whole show down, they were knocked out and Carl was taken. Beth is still alive. Daryl got her right before she was knocked down by the car.**

 _ **Chapter 1**_

 _ **"Dad!**_ _ **"**_

 _ **"Let's go kid!**_ _ **"**_

 _ **"Stop squirming!**_ _ **"**_

 _ **"Dad! Wake up!**_ _ **"**_

 _ **"Dad save me!**_ _ **"**_

 _ **"DAD!**_ _ **"**_

 _Rick sat up in a warm sheet of sweat. Looking around, he was in the back of the blue truck with Michonne. He took a moment to piece the last few hours back together._

 _Him and Michonne were by a fire, talking about what would happen at Terminus or if there wasn't a zombie apocalypse. Carl was sleeping in the truck._

 _ **"You screwed up asshole." He felt a gun to his temple**_ _._

 _"I was knocked out." He whispered. He looked around and noticed his son gone from the seat. "CARL!" Rick tried opening the back of the truck._

 _Michonne woke up with a groan._

 _"Rick? What happened?" She whispered._

 _"We were knocked out, we got to find Carl!" Michonne was fully awake at the thought of Carl missing. "I can't get the doors opened." He sounded desperate._

 _Michonne climbed over the seats and opened the side door, Rick following. Rick stepped in a puddle of blood, his heart sank._

 _Once they were outside they looked around. There was three walkers, dead instantly with Michonne's sword she grabbed from the ground._

 _They looked at the car that was smeared in blood. Written on the windshield in blood was one message that made their heart stop._

' _ **Goodbye**_ _'_

 _"Carl!" Rick yelled, not caring if they attracted more._

 _"Rick." Michonne looked at him. He knew the look, the look of defeat._

 _"No! They didn't! They couldn't!" Rick's eyes filled with tears._

 _She noticed something brown on the ground behind a tree. She walked over to the cowboy hat and a tear fell to the ground. She handed it to Rick and he pulled it to his chest._

 _"He is all I got left. No. No. No. No." He whispered over and over again._

—

Rick sat up in bed. Same nightmare. He looked and saw Daryl wasn't next to him. He walked over to Judith's crib and saw she was still sound asleep. He put pants on over his boxers and walked downstairs.

Sitting at the dining table was Carol, Daryl, Michonne and Beth. They looked up and saw him. Walking over, he sat down at the table next across from them.

"Hey. What's going on?"

"We were just talking about making another run to Georgia. To look again." Carol said.

Rick sighed. He knew what they were talking about. They were going back to Georgia to search for Carl.

"I know it's been a month but I feel he is still out there. We got another map since someone lost our last one," Michonne paused looking at Daryl. "-but we're going to search again. Daryl and I."

"I really appreciate this. I miss Carl more than anything." He said rubbing his hand over his face. "When I thought Judith was dead and then Carl kidnapped, I didn't want to live anymore but Michonne, Beth and Daryl pushed me. I thank you for that. I do. Now I have Judith keeping me going but I can't help but to think Carl is still out there. I agree." He looked at all of them. "But we have responsibility here."

"You mean Jessie and her husband?" Carol asked.

"Yeah. He's beating his wife. But not just that, Daryl and Aaron are going on a run. So they were going to have to wait till after the run to go."

Carol, Daryl, Beth and Michonne sighed, knowing he was right.

"I'm going to go check on the boys." Beth got up and walked out.

Rick knew she was talking about the 7 year old, JJ, and the 1 year old, DJ, Carol and Tyreese found at the house they found after the prison.

"How did you find those boys?" Rick asked Carol.

"Mika and I found a house and when Tyreese, Judith, Lizzie, Mika and I walked in and searched, they were hiding in a closet. JJ said that DJ's mom disappeared a few days before then."

Rick sighed knowing she was probably eaten.

"I couldn't leave them." Rick nodded, agreeing. "Okay so back to this, after Daryl and Aaron get back from their run, we will go and search this neighborhood." Carol circled an area on the map.

"We already went back to the house Carol was staying at, where Daryl lost the map-" Michonne started.

"I get it! I lost the map. Geesh, lay off me." Daryl stated.

"How do you lose a map in your pocket."

"Takin' a piss." He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, smirking at Rick. He knew how they lost the map. Rick blushed.

"Okay and then we checked Terminus in case he escaped and went there. So then where would he go?" Michonne finished, looking at Rick.

"Probably back home, to King County," Rick answered.

"Or the Prison." Daryl added.

"The prison is overrun. Too dangerous." Carol looked at the map. "We will check King County."

Rick nodded and at that moment Judith started whining. He got up, gave them one last nod and walked upstairs. Making his way to Judith, he picked her up and sat down on his bed with her against his chest. He rocked her back to sleep before putting her back down.

Daryl came up and sat beside them, holding Rick.

"Don't," Rick whispered. Daryl released him as Rick turned around.

"Rick..."

"Stop doing this," Rick told him. He was so tired and out of energy, he was tired of fighting his feeling.

"Doing what?" Rick stood up and started pacing.

"One minute you want to be with me, the next you call it off. I was fine with the one time thing at the prison. Then one turned to two, and so on. I told you I wanted to be with you, Daryl. I told you I loved you, that I'm in love with you. You told me it was better to just end it. I said okay. Now I am empty inside," Rick cried. Daryl looked down in guilt. "My wife is dead, my son is missing and probably traumatized and hurt or dead, and the guy I want to be with is cold-hearted and 'doesn't do love'. I get it. So stop playing with my feelings." He ended his rant.

"Rick..." Daryl started.

"Just get out." Daryl protested and Rick screamed, "GET OUT!"

Judith started crying and Daryl got up.

"I'm sorry," he said as he closed the door, leaving Rick inside, broken.

Rick grabbed Judith and calmed her down. Tears going down his cheeks, he whispered to her.

"Your brother will be with us again. We won't stop till we find him." Dead or alive. "I love you Lil Asskicker. Daddy and Carl love you so much."


End file.
